I got a response in kanji?

No idea what it says. Many thanks to Brian for the kind texts today. Sometimes I feel like I'm afloat in a sea of borderline personalities--- preceptors that don't get me and sometimes don't get the patients either.

The director kicks ass. She is razor smart and matter of fact and understands the bullshit bureaucracy.

Not being adept at dealing with assholes is not necessarily a character flaw, nor does it make you suck at life. I needed to hang with friends today and get some positive vibes to remind me of that.

Assholes are the ones who suck at life that's why they torture everyone within reach. Fucking bastards dude. Asshole bastard motherfuckers.

FYI ABM:

It's not questioning authority to ask why not refer someone to Psychiatry? There is a reason why people specialize. It's because we can't fucking know everything. And it's cool to look things up that you don't quite get, but a virus is one thing, and someone being pathologically sad, and incapacitated is something else entirely. The whole thing made me want to cry. And the saddest part is I could help this clinician if they would just give me a fucking chance instead I sit on my hands and watch the train wreck unfold, as instructed. And I feel sorry for her because I know she is overwhelmed and in many cases does a lot better than the other practitioner, but for some reason she's all competitive and weird, and trapped by an inadequate system in a sense. I don't know how you address all those things. I just know being a douche to your student does not help--- whatever.

Also weird unpleasant director person. I am volunteering at your clinic for free do not be a douchebag asshole to me. I am making it possible for the MD to see more patients. If you are unhappy at your job go work somewhere else. If something is up your ass- remove it!

Also menopausal bulldog lady. I get it you are the bulldog. You are large and in charge. You are in menopause and your skin is dry and paper thin and you refuse to moisturize and drink coffee all day. Your lips are chapped. You like being able to tell patients they are REJECTED. You keep things running smoothly by intimidating the hell out of people. You weigh 500 lbs, it makes it easier to throw your weight around. You vibe with people at the DMV. You are the douchebag heavyweight of the office. I have met your kind before. But your constantly changing instructions and cock blocking have to stop. Get a vibrator, get to know your clitoris. Try giving up chocolate for one day and develop some empathy for the grouchy bastards in the waiting room. Have the bitch that fucks with me in the afternoons give you a rimjob. Just leave me the fuck alone.

I want to see karma in action with these fuckers the way I saw it enacted today in class, when everyone simultaneously saw the HBOC for what she is---

I felt validated today in a perverse sense when everyone in the room was simultaneously irritated to the point of asking aloud why they came to class that day. I managed to keep my mouth shut and ate my avocado in peace. Mindful eating is the bomb. Especially when motherfuckers are in close proximity and you can't call them a motherfucker and just need to look at them like they are brilliant and pretend nothing at all is wrong. The pocket knife is really helpful in that regard. Slice open avocado set 2 halves on the pullout desk. Sprinkle salt on each half scoop out with spoon. Enjoy. Step 2: quesadilla. Step 3: see black and white art photos of labias artfully photographed that midwives are watching in awe. Step 4: Say a blessing for the midwives--- admire their cult thank God for them so you don't have to do Ob Gyn. Step 5: Transcend crazy woman infuriating everyone else because you know her bullshit all too well. Bonus!

Pat yourself on the back. Content yourself with the knowledge that there is a lebian cover band of Led Zeppelin called Lez Zeppelin =)